Where do I start?

I was washing dishes this afternoon, thinking about my call later with my accountability partner. Well, that’s what we started out as, but we’ve become friends, too. I was thinking about what I had planned to do in the last few weeks since we last spoke. Did I get the course content written that I had wanted to? No. Did I work on my email nurture sequence or edit the podcast videos? No. But I did find new soup bowls at Costco that I love.

As a single mother, working from home with a full time job and a freelance business on the side, with two kids with ADHD that I’m trying to keep on track through their virtual school work, in the middle of a global pandemic, I don’t feel like I have a lot of “free time.” There definitely seem to be a lot of demands for my time. And yet, when I don’t get everything done, I feel like I have failed.

So what did I get done in the last month. I worked 40 hrs/week with my full time job that allows me to pay the mortgage and all the bills and buy the food and stuff, I worked 10-15 hours/week in my freelance business, I did all the household things and mom things and supervising school things. I played with my kids. We played games for hours and went to a pumpkin patch (small one, with masks on), stopped at an apple orchard (small one, with masks on), played in the sand at the State Park beach (without masks because no one else was there in October). I fixed things around the house. I interviewed two people for my fledgling podcast. I visited my grandma and made soup and helped my mom with stuff. I delivered a care package to my best friend who really needed hugs but is quarantining due to potential exposure. And I found lovely new soup bowls at Costco.

Somedays I wake up with a list of what seems like a billion things swirling around in my head. Sometimes I sit down in my “free time” thinking I should be doing something but I’m not sure where to start. Sometimes I start writing a blog post when I’m not even sure what the point of it is. But I started something. And I finished other things. And I tried (maybe not completely successfully) to find some sort of balance between the time I spend working and the time I spend not. I’m showing my kids that while it’s not always easy, and I certainly don’t have as much time for video games and YouTube as they do, but I take care of the needs before the wants. Maybe they’ll look back someday and realize what I’m doing. Maybe I should get up and get more steps in this hour since my FitBit just told me I haven’t met the minimum steps yet.